Talking about adoption can feel complex—and that’s because it is. Adoption involves many layers, impacting birth families, adoptive families, caregivers, the foster system, the legal process, and more. With so many parties involved, adoption brings up a multitude of emotions.
Adoption is often accompanied by tough conversations and difficult questions. For parents, your child may one day ask why they don’t look like you or bring up their adoption at the dining table. Starting this conversation can stir intense emotions—feelings of anxiety, confusion, and deeper questions around identity, belonging, and family roles.
For adoptees, it’s common to wrestle with questions like, “Why wasn’t I enough?” “Do I have siblings out there?” or “Did my birth parents want me?” These thoughts can be consuming, affecting daily life, school, and work. Feelings of abandonment often accompany adoptees or foster youth as they try to understand their story.
At Tete Therapy, our therapists are experienced in guiding families through these sensitive discussions. Adoption adds unique layers to identity formation, whether it’s doctors asking about family history or peers questioning why a child may not resemble their parents. Addressing these complexities is crucial for healing and growth for both adoptees and their families.
And the big elephant in the room question is, “How will the feelings of abandonment affect me later on in life?” Will these feelings impact my friendships and relationships? Will I ever truly feel loved? These are significant concerns that many adoptees grapple with, and exploring them in therapy can be a vital step toward understanding and healing.
Nitasha Kang, LCAT, is an adoptee and neurodivergent therapist who specializes in supporting families through the complexities of adoption. She addresses issues related to mixed-race and international adoptions, as well as identity, belonging, and family dynamics. Through both art therapy and talk therapy, she fosters healing and understanding, helping individuals and families navigate their unique journeys.
If you’re an adult processing your adoption now, know that it’s never too late. Many adoptees begin to explore these questions later in life, and seeking support during adulthood is just as valid. Adoption continues to shape identity, and unpacking those layers at any stage is an important step toward self-understanding and healing.
Parents also deserve a safe space to explore the challenges of supporting their child’s autonomy while protecting them. Our therapists use both art therapy and talk therapy to explore family dynamics, attachment, and identity in a meaningful way.
Adoption is a family journey. Let’s begin the conversation together.
Election season can bring out strong emotions, and it’s natural for parents to want to help their children understand what’s happening without increasing their anxiety. How can we discuss the election with our kids, ourselves, and others without adding to the stress?
Start with Open-Ended Questions
When talking to your child about the election, open-ended questions allow them to express their feelings and concerns in a safe environment. You might ask:
Encouraging your child to explore their thoughts helps them process complex emotions while knowing they are being heard and supported.
Addressing Election Misinformation
In today’s fast-paced media environment, misinformation can lead to confusion and anxiety. Teach your child the importance of verifying facts before discussing the election with peers to prevent the spread of misinformation that could increase stress.
Model Calmness and Self-Regulation
Children often mirror their parents’ emotions. If you’re anxious about the election, your child may pick up on it too. Managing your own emotions is important before engaging in charged conversations. Take a moment to relax—go for a walk, drink water, or listen to a favorite song. Like the saying, “put on your oxygen mask first,” managing your own anxiety is key before helping your child with theirs.
Simple Techniques to Reduce Anxiety
If you or your child are feeling anxious, try these quick relaxation techniques:
These simple steps can help you feel grounded, making conversations less overwhelming.
Fostering Respectful Conversations
It’s important to allow your children, friends, or family to express their opinions. Instead of reacting with a combative tone or dismissing feelings, try saying, “Oh, I didn’t know this—where did you find out that information?” This opens up a respectful dialogue, even if you disagree. Teach your children that it’s okay to have different viewpoints, and disagreements can be handled with kindness.
Help Children Set Boundaries Around Election Conversations
Teach your children that it’s okay not to engage in election-related discussions. Provide them with phrases they can use, like:
Limit Media Exposure
With the constant news cycle, children may be overexposed to anxiety-inducing election coverage. Try to limit the media they consume and focus on calming, positive activities instead.
Remember
Children are like sponges—they absorb how you feel. By modeling self-regulation and grounding techniques, you encourage your children to practice those calming methods too. Take time as a family to go on walks, have a dance party to release nerves, or take mindful moments to breathe and relax.
It’s also a good idea to discuss personalized strategies with your therapist to explore healthy ways to engage with children, friends, or family members around charged conversations. Setting healthy boundaries and managing election anxiety is key to maintaining emotional well-being during this time.
